Call me masochist!

I have just 1 more day of life as I know it…*cues horror movie music*. A little dramatic? Yes? Good…that is exactly how I want my first post in almost 4 months to sound! Now lemme explain a little bit…  

My good friend Koko has somehow managed to con me into signing up for the most torturous 4 weeks of my life…boot camp!! The friends we have nowadays…smh! I will be actively engaging in intense, gruelling exercise for an hour a day, 5 days a week for the next 4 weeks. 1 hour….sounds easy, right? NOT RIGHT!! Considering I do not exercise ever, this will be absolute torture to every fibre of my being – I’m already feeling muscle pains, and I haven’t even started – just the thought of it gives my brain muscles pains. Sidebar: do brains have muscles?
Anyway, in my twisted mind, I foresee big buff women shouting orders like they do at boot camps for delinquents, and us shouting back “sir yes sir!!” (ma’am yes ma’am doesn’t quite have the same effect). Maybe I should slow down on the tv watching, huh?
 
But on the other hand, for some strange reason, I am quite excited. Pain and torture aside, I’m looking forward to pushing myself out of my comfort zone; I’m looking forward to stretching my pain threshold and see just how much I can take, but most of all I’m looking forward to the end result. There’s a certain feeling, a high, a climax, a peak, that comes with achieving a goal after putting in the hard work – and that is the high I’m chasing.   Did I mention the part about signing up for 2 boot camps?  No? Well yeah…2 boot camps with a 2 week break between both. I will try and update my boot camp experience as much as possible…that is if I live to tell the tale.

Wish me luck!!

Mortal Man

Two weeks.....in about two weeks, I will be moving and starting a new job in a new city, in a new province - a brand new start, and new beginnings. I am an absolute cocktail of emotions (no, I don't mean the mojito I had earlier....just emotions), but if I got into that, this would end up being a long soppy off-at-a-tangent essay.

So while clearing my rubble and putting things in boxes, I came across something I wrote a few years back after losing a friend to cancer....I guess I seeked solace in words. As short as it was, I let it bleed on paper as below (unedited):

Sometimes we don't truly understand the meaning of goodbye. We seem to think that life is endless - that, when we say goodbye, we'll automatically see that person again. We are mere mortals - it all ends. We make plans for tomorrow, for next week, for next month, for next year, and the years coming until we are 75 years young - and still have plans for after that....but we are mere mortals with no clue - even Albert Einstein, one of the most intelligent men in the world, had no idea that April 18, 1955 would be the day he took his last breath - no idea that he'd leave so many highschool students confused by his physics....hmmm, even I don't know my last moment - mere mortal. Lord, please help me:

• may I live my life to the fullest, understanding that each day could be my last.
• may my life make a difference, and have an impact on at least one person out there.
• may I be grateful for each breath I take, and never have regrets.
• may I appreciate all the people in my life.
• may I learn to smile and actually mean it.
• may I learn to say goodbye and realise that it could be the end....the last one...afterall
  I'm mere mortal man.

                                   (31/05/2007)

What's in a song....?

There is always that one song - the one which you sing in your x-factor voice and it damn near brings you to tears.....that song!

I spent last weekend road-tripping to places which I have been wanting to see -  places which were sitting on my imaginary bucket-list (I'll write one next year, I promise). It was a long and exhuasting day, but well worth it still. And in the evening, as I was in the shower (which also doubles as my recording studio) I sang a song which reminded me just how blessed I am. 2012 hasn't been the best for me - I have had many disappointments, lost loved ones, and been kicked by life a couple of times. But still, I'm standing! It hasn't been all bad...I have had many good days.I have seen growth, and coming more into myself. Making decisions, sticking to them. Knowing what I want, and going for it....not what others want for me. Doing what makes me happy.....knowing what makes me happy. Fun, flirtatious, frilly....emotional wreck at times - and just letting that be! Loud laughs, high heels, red wine....all in my 2012!

2013? Its only gonna be better - and guess what, I'm ready!! Cause I'm still standing! No matter what life throws, I'll take it in my stride, lift my head high and keep standing! 2013 is gonna be better....it has to be!

Now allow me to step into my recording studio, and sing the song that warms my heart:

"Something beautiful, something good,
All my confusion He understood,
All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife,
But he made something beautiful of my life."

Here's to 2012, soon to be gone, but surely wont be forgotten! And a to kickass 2013....I'm ready!!!

AU-GUST!!

I finally get it....now I know why it's called August......its because it's a windy month! August....gust...as in, wind...geddit? Don't ask about the 'Au' part - I don't have an explanation for it. Unless of course it's French for something.....okay, forget it! Either way, I find August kind of irritating...it's windy, it drags, and just all round lousy! Also, it's pre-September.....and September rocks! So it's just a useless stumbling block before we get to spring and my birthday month so full of awesomeness! The only good thing about this wretched month however is that it's Women's Month - a month to celebrate the strength of a Woman! I don't think I need to explain much.....a world without the strong, confident, bold, and beautiful woman would be just bleak!

So here's to all my Women........you are EVERYTHING and ALL!!

My type of L.O.V.E!

I'm a weakling for well written stuff....books, poetry, songs, even corny greeting cards....I'm a complete sucker for such! If it catches me from the first two sentences, then I'm hooked! When buying books, I have to read a little while in the shop before I head to the cashier - even if it's a well recommended book. The other day (by this I mean I cannot remember when) I came across this beautiful piece of spoken word on twitter.....well, it wasn't spoken on twitter, but after I interacted with my old friend google, I found it in the form of spoken word! A few more search pages down the line, and I got the full transcript.

It's a piece by Brent Rice called 'A Crucifixion Type Love'. What he does is describe love in it's purest form, from which it originally stems. It stole my heart completely.

A Crucifixion Type Love – Brent Rice

My biggest prayer is to love her right
I want to…
Love her like Christ loved the church
Love her like her Father in Heaven Loves HerLove her like the Holy Spirit loves her soul
And love her like she was created to be loved

But sometimes….
Sometimes my flesh tries to intimidate me with that kind of love
It’s like my spirit cries out from the depths of this corrupted prison
With the voice of Abel screaming that I have not loved her to the extent Christ loves the church
I want a crucifixion type love

Our Deepest Fear....

So the last post just brought to mind the below piece by Marianne Williamson. Remember the movie coach Carter? Yeah, that same piece. This is one poem that wrongly accredited to many people....Nelson Mandela, The Dalai Lama, Michael Jackson....I'm pretty sure someone slipped in Wayne Rooney there once! (okay, I joke, I kid!). But seriously, this poem and the previous post kind of relate! Enjoy! :)


 

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

For the love of..........

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” That is what that wise man Confucius said.

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.....admittedly, it sounds a bit exaggerated, and not to be taken literally - but he has a point. The struggle that many 20-something year olds (and even older) go through is trying to find what really drives them. You wake up in the morning and slip into your normal routine, get to work and do what you do daily, then head back home without once feeling like you will burst at the seams from excitement. This is the cycle that many have considered the norm, so much that they see nothing wrong with it. Others spend time trying to search, find and figure out what it is that is their passion, what it is that they should be doing. But here's what I realised - you're wasting time searching for something that could easily be staring at you right in the face. The only reason you don't notice or realise this is that you spend your time calling it a hobby.

There is that one thing that gives you a rush while you're doing it....that one thing which excites you, but you find that you do not even realise that this is where your calling is, because you're spending too much time trying find yourself (whatever that means). And don't get me wrong....I love to eat, I love to sleep, but my destiny most definitely is not to break world eating records, or to be the world's greatest bed-tester. But I do wish to spend my life doing the things I love the most - to explore and to exploit that passion. We spend endless amounts of time indulging in things that give us pleasure - but never consider to turn those into our pay-cheques. We doubt ourselves. We are unsure of our abilities. We live in a society that tells us what to do. We don't dare to break the barrier.We don't dare to step out of the norm. We fear failure............we fear failure. And in that, we eventually fail to be happy.

Maybe now is the time to change all of that......reset, refocus, realign! Let your heart guide you. Take a leap of faith. Do it....what you want...DO IT!!